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(fwd) Yahweh Selects Defense Team; More Info on Accomplice
On 29 Jan 1997 23:56:44 GMT, in rec.drugs.cannabis "Dr. Gordon Kenney"
<[email protected]> wrote:
Yahweh Selects Defense Team; More Info on Accomplice
San Diego, CA, USA (Universe Press)
Yahweh, the delusional illegal alien recently arrested by the federal
Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA), has selected his defense team.
Representing the alleged drug cultivator/creator of all things will be a
team led by Johnny Cochran, a major defender of O.J. Simpson during his
murder trial. Yahweh had asked to speak with Perry Mason, but he had to
be told that Counselor Mason was only a fictitious character (which may
provide evidence of the truly delusional state of mind/spirit Yahweh is
in). The defense team is already being dubbed "The Holy Henchmen."
In a related matter, new information about Jesus Christ's prior criminal
record was released by DEA investigators today. An unnamed source who
claimed he was once a disciple of Mr. Christ stated that Mr. Christ was
arrested, tried, convicted, and executed for use of magic, vandalism,
and various subversive activities. These events occurred about 2,000
years ago during the Roman occupation of the Middle East, which may
explain INTERPOL's lack of information as it seems their database only
dates to the early 1950s. How Mr. Christ could still be alive today
after having been executed 2,000 years ago baffled prosecutors, though
they vehemently denied that Mr. Christ would get any leniency due to
poor health. As one DEA official remarked, "a drug lord is a drug lord,
and we will not stop until these thugs are put away forever. When major
drug producers such as Yahweh, Mr. Christ, and Mr. Ghost are finally
found guilty -- and they will be -- our children can learn to become
addicted to the proper drugs, such as alcohol, caffeine, and nicotine."
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