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(fwd) Internet Trek
On Fri, 7 Feb 97 15:20:03 EST, in rec.humor.funny.reruns
[email protected] (Jeff Okamoto) wrote:
I found this posting on rec.arts.startrek. Anyone who has seen Star
Trek II: the Wrath of Khan, and knows unix should enjoy this. Mailed
by [email protected] (Kaveh R. Ghazi [King Louis XIV])
------------------------------------------------
I was watching Star Trek II again last night when suddenly I had this
vision of what would happen if instead of a duel between starships, it
was computer systems. What resulted is this:
------------------------------------------------
*Kirk:* What is the meaning of this attack?
*Khan:* Surely I have made my meaning clear. I mean to avenge myself
upon you, Admiral. I deprived your system of UUCP connections
and when I swing around I mean to deprive you of your life.
But I wanted you to know who it was who had beaten you.
*Kirk:* Khan, if it's me you want, I'll have myself rcp'ed over. Spare
my crew.
*Khan:* I make you a counter-proposal. I'll agree to your terms, if ...
if in addition to yourself you hand over to me all data and
materials regarding the project called UUNET.
*Kirk:* UUNET? What's that?
*Khan:* Don't insult my intelligence, Kirk.
*Kirk:* Give me some time to recall the data from our archives.
*Khan:* I give you sixty seconds.
*Kirk:* Clear the bridge.
*Spock:* At least we know he doesn't have UUNET.
*Kirk:* Keep nodding as though I'm still giving orders. Mr. Saavik,
punch up the data charts of Reliant's password file.
*Saavik:* Reliant's pass...
*Kirk:* Hurry.
*Khan:* Forty-five seconds Admiral.
*Spock:* The free login?
*Kirk:* It's all we've got.
*Saavik:* File's up, sir.
*Khan:* Admiral.
*Kirk:* We're finding it.
*Khan:* Admiral.
*Kirk:* Please. Please you've got to give us time. The machine room is
smashed, the editors inoperable.
*Khan:* Time is a luxury you don't have, Admiral.
*Kirk:* Damn.
*Khan:* Admiral?
*Kirk:* It's coming through now, Khan.
*Spock:* Reliant's free login is 16309.
*Saavik:* I don't understand.
*Kirk:* You have to learn why things work on a UNIX system.
*Spock:* Each system has its own hidden free login.
*Kirk:* To prevent an enemy from doing what we're attempting. We're
using our console to order Reliant to let us login.
*Spock:* Assuming he hasn't changed the combination. He's quite
intelligent.
*Khan:* Fifteen seconds, Admiral.
*Kirk:* Khan, how do we know you'll keep your word?
*Khan:* Oh, I've given you no word to keep, Admiral. In my judgement,
you simply have no alternative.
*Kirk:* I see your point. Stand by to receive our mail message. Mr.
Sulu, lock an Internet connection on target and await my order
to login.
*Sulu:* Connection pending.
*Khan:* Time's up, Admiral.
*Kirk:* Here it comes. Now, Mr. Spock.
*Spock:* % telnet reliant
Trying...
Connected to reliant.
Escape character is '~'.
M-6 Duotronic
U.S.S. Reliant, NCC-1864
login:
*Spock:* login: 16309
%
*Joachim:* Sir, the Enterprise is logging on.
*Khan:* Kill them.
*Joachim:* I can't!
*Khan:* Where's the chroot call? The chroot call!
*Kirk:* Fire.
*Sulu:* % su
#
*Kirk:* Fire!
*Sulu:* # rm -rf /
*Khan:* Reboot, reboot!
*Joachim:* We can't reboot!
*Khan:* Why can't you!?
*Joachim:* They've corrupted the file system and the /etc directory!
Sir,
we must power-cycle.
*Khan:* No!
*Joachim:* Sir, we must!
--
And the rest is (ahem) history.
Jeff Okamoto
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