You might be a Redneck Jedi if . . . (fwd)

[Matthew Hunt <mph@astro.caltech.edu>]

Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
From: steven.d.maurer@bangate.tek.com (Steve D Maurer)
Subject: You might be a Redneck Jedi if . . .
Date: Sun, 25 Oct 1998 19:30:00 PST

And you might be a Redneck Jedi If . . .

 * You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."
 * Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.
 * You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Boone's Farm
   Strawberry Hill.
 * At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.
 * You have bantha horns on the front of your land speeder.
 * You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
 * You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
 * You ever lost a hand during a light saber fight because you had to spit.
 * The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
 * Wookies are offended by your BO
 * You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you
   didn't have to wait for a commercial.
 * You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
 * Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the
   darkside...it'll be a hoot."
 * You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock
   thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.
 * You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your landspeeder.
 * You think Han Solo would look better in a flannel cause he looks
   like a little sissy in that vest.
 * You ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts.
 * You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in
   through the window.
 * Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt
   had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.
 * You ever fell in love with your sister.
 * You have ever accidentally referred to Darth Vader's evil empire as
   "them damn Yankees."
 * You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
 * You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with red wood 
   deck.
 * You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels on the rocks during
   the cantina scene.
 * In your opinion, that Darth Vader fellow just "ain't right."

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Administrative note:


The recent oke "Nominee for quote of the year" which was allegedly a real
quote by Rep. Dick Armey, but which I said was faked, is, apparently, an
actual quote by Mr. Armey - ed.

-- 
Matthew Hunt <mph@pobox.com> * And now I am smart.
http://www.pobox.com/~mph/pgp.key for PGP public key 0x67203349.
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