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(fwd) 2001 Rereleased!
This sums up my feelings on the rerelease of Star Wars.
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On Fri, 21 Feb 97 12:20:03 EST, in rec.humor.funny [email protected]
(Stephen Platt) wrote:
(MGM Studios, England) In response to the success of George
Lucas' updated "Star Wars", Stanley Kubrick announced today the
planned re-release of "2001: A Space Odyssey". The enhanced
version of the film will be released early in 1998, celebrating
its 30th anniversary.
Kubrick explained, "Much of what we tried to accomplish in 1968 as
limited by then-current technology. We feel this greatly impinged
on the structure and style of the film, grossly affecting our
ability to tell a modern story."
Many of the changes and additions are fairly minor; only a true
devotee would be expected to notice. For example, the "Pan Am"
space clipper will have its logo changed to "Discount Spaceways."
Other logos will be inserted, as deemed appropriate by the
sponsors of the updating: "Coke" and "Nikon" will appear on food
and photographic products, while the HAL 9000 computer will sport
"Intel Inside" and "Microsoft Windows NT 8.5" appliques.
Other sequences are expected to present visual and auditory
changes more apparent to those who may only have seen the film a
small number of times.
* Computer displays will be rendered with true 3D modeling. As
an inside joke in one scene, graphics engineers will be inserting
images from "Quake 2000."
* The "Star Voyage" sequence designed by Trumball and Veevers
will be replaced by an entirely computer-generated sequence.
* New scenes will be inserted. One known scene involves the
"hominid murder;" a new computer-assisted sequence showing a
battle between thousands of hominids will be added following this
scene.
* All of the music will be replaced by a soundtrack performed
by U2. The soundtrack will be broadcast in digitized, Dolby-
enhanced surround sound. Kubrick explained, "No one liked the
music in the original, anyway."
* The monolith, which most viewers found "boring" will be
redesigned to look like a large human-shaped robot with blinking
lights.
* Frank Poole's sex will be changed, adding new interest.
Also, Francine Poole will not die; She and Dave will be saved by
MONOLITHMAN and will live happily every after. Kubrick explains
again, "No one understood the ending; we feel that our rewrite
will be much more accessible to the typical intelligent
moviegoer."
Kubrick summarized the release, codenamed "3" (short for "2001-
1998") as an "Experience for the younger generation, born well
after the original. The original film was dated and did not meet
the needs of new viewers. The new release will be competitive
with today's movies and should provide a fulfilling, enjoyable
experience to all."
A spring, 1998 release is anticipated.
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I've received several letters complaining about the recent joke
"delicacy of
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Most of the letters basically say "this is an urban legend! But the
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This is deliberate - I frequently get jokes about similar topics in
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