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(fwd) Mildly off color story using fractured French

On Wed, 19 Feb 97 7:20:02 EST, in rec.humor.funny.reruns
[email protected] (Richard Wexelblat) wrote:

(This story is old and is from a time when even in France certain
rubber and leather goods were not openly sold.)

An American couple is in Paris, a much awaited trip, when suddenly the
wife dies of a heart attack.  The husband decides to have her buried
there as the visit to France was something they had longed for for many
years.  All arrangements are made when he suddenly realizes that he
doesn't have a black hat for the funeral.  The hotel concierge tells
him that what he wants is a "chapeau noir."  So off he goes to find a
store open late.

First he meets a gendarme and in his fractured French asks, "M'sieur,
ou pouvais-je acheter un capeau noir?"  (1)

The policeman is a bit surprised but, after thinking a bit, gives our
friend directions.  The store--if that is what it is--looks a little
seedy and run down, but the man behind the counter looks friendly so in
goes our friend.  He speaks first:

"M'sieur, je veux acheter un capeau noir."

"Mais, monsieur, j'ai des capeaux rouges, des capeaux blancs, et des
capeaux marrons, mais pas des capeaux noires.  Pourquoi avez vous
besoin d'un capeau noir?"

"Ma femme est morte."

"O Monsieur!  Quelle beau sentiment!"

--

(1) The story hinges on the pun:  chapeau(hat) -- capeau(slang for
condom)

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